You may have seen one of the movies from this famous film, but not realized that some of the quotes are so good, they can be applied to your own life. This list of Quotes From Step Brothers ideas from the movie is geared toward millennials, young adults, and even teens as they try to navigate the world. Please note that these are real quotes from the movie.
Funny Quotes From Step Brothers
You are reading: Best Quotes From Step Brothers Movie [ecis2023]
1. Dale: “Can we turn our beds into bunk beds?”
Brennan: “It will give us so much extra space in our room to do activities!”
2. Dale: “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.”
Brennan: “You have to call me Nighthawk.”
3. “Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon.” — Nancy
4. “When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short, and I roamed the backyard. I chased the neighborhood cats; I growled, and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me. And one day, my dad said, ‘Bobby, you’re 17. It’s time to throw childish things aside,’ and I said, ‘OK, Pop.’ But he didn’t really say that. He said, ‘Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.’”
Step Brothers doesn’t have many laugh-out-loud lines for Richard Jenkins. Robert’s humor comes more from his reactions to Dale’s and Brennan’s antics. This monologue is hilarious.
5. Dr. Doback: “Is this your purse in the freezer?”
Nancy: “Yes… it’s Brennan… he sleepwalks.”
Dr. Doback: “Are you serious? Dale sleepwalks, too. Check the oven.”
Nancy: (checks oven) “Couch pillows.”
6. Brennan: “Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?”
Dale: “Yup.”
7. Brennan: “Well, Pan…”
Pam: “No, it’s Pam.”
Brennan: “Are you saying, Pan or Pam?”
Pam: “My name is Pam.”
Brennan: “Pand, there’s a D on the end.”
Pam: “No, there’s no D.”
Funny Step Brothers Quotes
8. Manager: (after Dale lets out a prolonged fart) “Was that a fart?”
Dale: “I don’t know.”
Manager: “I can taste it. On my tongue.”
Dale: “OK, I’ll be honest with you. I did fart.”
Manager: “Is that onion? Onion… and onion and ketchup. It stinks. And this is a small room.”
9. “OK, on the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it; just do it. One, two, three.” — Dale
10. “I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina.” — Alice
11. Nancy: “Guys. Guys. Guys!”
(both guys wake up and quote the last line from their dreams)
Brennan: “I’ll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.”
Dale: “The clown has no penis.”
Nancy: “What kind of dreams are you guys having?”
12. “Yeah, I got ’em from the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s. It’s like masturbating in a time machine.” — Dale
13. Brennan: “Hey Derek, you know what’s good for shoulder pain?”
Derek: “What?”
Brennan: “If you lick my butthole.”
14. Dale: “Brennan, you’re alive! Oh, my God!”
Brennan: “I know. I’m alive.”
Dale: “You were dead. I saw you die.”
Brennan: “I was faking. I used ninja focus to slow my heart rate down.”
15. “Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I’m looking good, got a luscious V of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes, ‘Oh, my God, I’ve had the old bull, now I want the young calf,’ and she grabs me by the wiener.” — Dale
16. Nancy: “You don’t know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.”
Brennan: “It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazin’ that shit up every day.”
17. “You’re embarrassing yourself, you geriatric f**k! Two things: You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother. She’s a saint! And then you sit down and you write Dale and Brennan a check for $10,000. Or I’m gonna shove one of those fake hearing devices so far up your a**, you can hear the sound of your small intestine as it produces s**t!”
18.“Boats ‘n’ hoes, boats ‘n’ hoes / I gotta have me my boats and hoes.”
19.“You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” “You’re not a doctor. You’re a big, fat, curly-headed f**k!”
20. Derek: “I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.”
21.“Flat. It’s so flat, I can’t even…I don’t even know. You don’t even look good while you’re singing. The worst thing I’ve ever heard. This is twelve hundred dollars a week for voice lessons, and this is what I get? Okay, I’m gonna save it with the solo…”
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Best Step Brothers Quotes About the Drum Set
1. Dale: “Why are you so sweaty?”
Brennan: “I was watching Cops.”
2. Dale: “Did you rub your balls on my drums?”
Brennan: “No, I was watching Cops.”
Dale: “I know for a fact that Cops doesn’t come on till four.”
3. Brennan: “I teabagged your drum set!”
4. Brennan: “Look, I didn’t touch your drum set, OK?”
Dale: “I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my drum set.”
5. “I am warning you: If you touch my drums, I will stab you in the neck with a knife.” — Dale
Step Brothers Quotes By Dale
“This is going to sound weird but, for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”
“I know that you are technically married now, but that does not mean that they have to live here.”
“Dad, we’re men, OK? That means a few things. We like to shit with the door open. We talk about pussy. We go on riverboat gambling trips. We make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do. And now that is all wrecked.”
“You should have never let us make bunk beds! It was a terrible idea! There’s blood everywhere! Dad, Nancy, it’s so bad. There’s blood everywhere. Those bunk beds were a terrible idea. Why’d you let us do that? It’s so bad!”
“You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.”
“One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.”
“Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”
“I’m fucking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.”
“Dad, what are you going? It’s ‘Shark Week’!”
“That’s so funny; the last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”
“Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!”
“Dad, I’m doing this because I love you. Fuck you.”
“Get your shit, we’re going to my room.”
Step Brothers Quotes By Brennan
“You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother! She’s a saint!”
“What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?”
“My mom is being eaten by a dog and there’s nothing I can do!”
“Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.”
“Last week, I put liquid paper on a bee… and it died.”
“Did we just become best friends? “Yep!”
“When you fall asleep, I’m gonna punch you square in the face.”
“I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.”
“I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my pe***!”
More Step Brothers Movie Quotes
1. Nancy Huff: You don’t know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.
Brennan Huff: It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazin’ that s**t up every day.
2. Dale Doback: You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learning doctors.
Brennan Huff: you’re not a doctor. you’re a big fat curly-headed fuck.
3. Brennan Huff: Hey Derek, you know what’s good for shoulder pain?
Derek: What?
Brennan Huff: If you lick my butt-hole.
Dale Doback: Snap!!!
Dale Doback: Snap!
#step brothers shoulder pain
4. Dale Doback: OK on the count of three name your favorite dinosaur, don’t even think about it just do it. 1, 2, 3
Brennan Huff: Philosoraptor
Brennan Huff: Philosoraptor.
Dale Doback: Philosoraptor
Dale Doback: Philosoraptor.
Brennan Huff: Favourite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to.
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Dale Doback: Good Housekeeping
Dale Doback: Good Housekeeping.
Brennan Huff: Good Housekeeping
Brennan Huff: Good Housekeeping.
Brennan Huff: If you were a chick who’s the one guy you’d sleep with?
Dale Doback: John Stamos
Dale Doback: John Stamos.
Brennan Huff: John Stamos
Brennan Huff: John Stamos.
5. Dale Doback: Dad please shut up
Brennan Huff: PLEASE SHUT UP!
6. Brennan Huff: oh ya? oh ya? well, you’re a curly-headed fuck!
Brennan Huff: You’re not a doctor… you’re a big, fat, curly-headed fuck!
7. Brennan Huff: I gotta belly full of white dog crap
Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?
8. Dale Doback: Did you rub your balls on my drums.
Brennan Huff: No, I was watching cops.
Dale Doback: I know for a fact that cops don’t come on till 4:00.
9. Brennan Huff: I’m not gonna call him dad not even if there’s a fire
Brennan Huff: I’m not gonna call him dad not even if there’s a fire.
10. Brennan Huff: Dale: (Sarcastically laughs) Last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.
Dale Doback: [sarcastically laughs] Last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.
11. Brennan Huff: Last week I put liquid paper on a bee… And it died.
Brennan Huff: Last week I put liquid paper on a bee… And it died.
12. Brennan Huff: Oh, looks like somebody got some air. Snap!
Dale Doback: Still hate you.
Brennan Huff: Still hate you. Ah, look at that, it’s such power, it’s raw power.
Brennan Huff: Still hate you. Ah, look at that, it’s such power, it’s raw power.
Dale Doback: Dad what are you doing it’s shark week?
Dale Doback: Dad what are you doing, it’s shark week?
Step Brothers was created after Adam McKay, director of Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby, saw the funny chemistry between Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. He came up with an absurdist comedy about two 40-year-old men living with their parents and having to live together when their parents marry.
13. Dr. Robert Doback: Alright that’s it! You guys leave me no choice! No television for a week!
Dale Doback: WHAT!?
Nancy Huff: We are so serious!
Brennan Huff: You’re fuckin high!
Nancy Huff: This remote goes in Robert’s room…and it stays there…
Brennan Huff: This house is a fuckin prison!
Dale Doback: On planet bullshit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of this sucks camel dicks!
14.“I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I’m smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes, I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and… I just figure it out.”
15. Brennan Huff: it’s the fucking Catalina wine mixer
Brennan Huff: It’s the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.
16. Dale Doback: Haha, That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laugh so hard I fell off my dinosaur!
Dale Doback: Haha, that’s so funny the last time I heard that I laugh so hard I fell off my dinosaur!
17. Brennan Huff: I tea bagged your drum set!
Dale Doback: Oh yeah, well my drum set’s a guy, so that makes you gay!
Dale Doback: Oh yeah, well my drum set’s a guy, so that makes you gay!
18.“I wanna make bank bro. I wanna drive a range rover. I wanna get a**.”
19. Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
Dale Doback: On planet bull shit!
Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of this sucks camel dick!
Updated on May 1st, 2020: Rumours about a sequel have circulated since Step Brothers were released in theaters. Will Ferrell and Adam McKay have an idea for the sequel, but it is taking time to get there. A Step Brothers sequel is less likely now that McKay has moved into dramatic work and the production partnership has been broken up. The original is still a timeless classic so we have updated this list with a few additional entries.
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