Mean Girls is a timeless classic that shows us, who the real enemies are… but what exactly makes each of these memorable quotes stand out? They are all a combination of pure wit, social commentary, and honesty. Here are the top mean girls quotes by Penn Book from the hit 2005 movie.
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Top 10 Quotes From Mean Girls
To celebrate National Mean Girls Day on October 3rd, dress up in pink from head to toe if you genuinely love the movie. You can still celebrate with your besties by hosting a night-in to share the best Mean Girls quotes and (re)watch this movie. Enjoy!
I’m Not Like A Regular Mom. I’m A Cool Mom.
Some people feel done with high school when they hang up their graduation caps. Others act as if they have never left. Amy Poehler, Regina’s mom, and a perfect former example are pathetic. She holds on to her youth like an enslaved barnacle. She is as funny and desperate as she can be. Mrs. George earned her excellent mom status by serving fluorescent mocktails for the Plastics (alcohol optional) and allowing her youngest daughter to imitate a Girls Gone Wild clip.
Most notably, Mrs. George has memorized the Plastics’ risqué choreography to “Jingle Bell Rock,” which she performs in the aisles of the Winter Talent Show. Mrs. George is a “cool mom,” meaning she’s always sixteen, and happy hour runs from four to six.
That Is The Ugliest Effing Skirt I’ve Ever Seen.
Regina is allowed to continue her reign of terror for so long. Because she is sweeter than a Disney princess on the outside, she keeps her Cruella side behind closed doors. Regina’s pleasant exterior initially makes Cady feel like she is a snowflake, but then she starts spending real time with her.
Regina compliments a girl’s skirt at school. Regina compliments a girl’s dress as soon as she is out of her earshot. Cady then recalls a similar interaction about her bracelet. Regina’s name would be Two-Face if she were a comic-book villain. Is that correct?
That’s Why Her Hair Is So Big. It’s Full Of Secrets.
Janis and Damian, also known as “art freaks,” are Cady’s North Shore High safari guide. This involves familiarizing Cady with local predators, the Plastics. Each Plastic has its unique commentary. Janis’s is full of abuse, Damian’s dry and witty. This is the best description of Gretchen Wieners, a petite busybody.
Mean Girls is full of irony. Janis and Damian hate the Plastics but cannot stop obsessing over them. Gretchen, on the other hand, has everything. Her father invented Toaster Strudel. But she is always insecure and paranoid about losing it all. Gretchen is like a safety vest collecting dirt on everyone and everything. It gives Gretchen supermodel hair.
Don’t Have Sex. Because You Will Get Pregnant And Die.
Although the film is primarily about the mean girls, it cannot resist taking some shots at the lunacy of high school sex education. These programs seem to have the goal of scaring teenagers into quitting sex. These programs often include graphic photos and horror stories about pregnancy.
Coach Carr is busy with other classes, so Mean Girls has to stop short courses. Although it would be hilarious, sex-ed can be summarized in this famous line. Although Coach Carr doesn’t know how to spell “chlamydia,” he knows that none of these scare tactics work. He ends the class by giving out condoms.
We Should Totally Just Stab Caesar!
Cady, the “Girl World” or the world of plastics, tells us that all fighting must be done sneakily. No matter how cruelly treated they are, girls can’t express any feelings of discontent with their friends. Gretchen enjoys being Regina’s primary lady-in-waiting. But Regina’s growing nastiness starts to take its toll.
Gretchen is unable to stand for her rights. Gretchen vents her frustration on her English report. This metaphor is a thinly disguised one. Gretchen is the “just as cute” Brutus, and Regina the tyrannical Caesar. Only in Girl World could Caesar and Brutus have BFF Necklaces.
One Time, She Punched Me In The Face. It Was Awesome!
Damian states, “If North Shore were Us Weekly [the Plastics], then they would always be on the cover.” Although everyone hates the Plastics inwardly, they are adored by the masses outwardly. Regina George prefers to be physically attacked by stargazers on North Shore and Bethany.
Bethany isn’t the only one who is captivated by the Plastics. Every clique of students, and even some teachers, talk about the Plastics as if they were Hollywood stars. These abused admirers nominate many of the Plastics for Spring Fling Queen. This is why it’s so satisfying to see Regina get destroyed by a bus. She lives but proves that karma can be the ultimate Queen Bee.
That Is So Fetch.
Gretchen wants to be Regina’s clone, but a part of her still longs to be free from her dictator. She invented the term “fetch,” insisting that it is “like, slang from England.” With the subtlety and grace of a dancing bear, she tries to include it in every conversation.
Regina soon gets tired of the term “fetch,” so she rips into Gretchen and rudely declares that “fetch will never happen.” Gretchen would have the last laugh as the time is now a part of pop culture. While Her father may have made toaster Strudel, Gretchen made it possible.
You Can’t Sit With Us!
The ultimate social kiss of doom. Gretchen is Regina’s most beloved friend, but Gretchen often knocks down Regina. Gretchen will throw Regina away like yesterday’s cheese fries. This reveals the true nature and lack thereof of the Plastics’ friendship.
Regina gains a few extra pounds after being sabotaged and made to wear sweatpants. This is against Girl World rules that sweatpants can only be worn on Fridays. Real friends will be open to each other regardless of their size or weight. This line is hilarious because Gretchen delivers it with a screechy delivery and because it demonstrates what it means to have a mean girl.
On Wednesdays, We Wear Pink.
This rule is probably the most famous of all the Girl World rules. It’s perhaps because it’s one of the most absurd. This becomes comedy gold when Cady, a non-girly girl, searches for pink clothes. She must accept swimming in Damian’s extra-large baby pink polo. These rules show that Plastics are sheeple just like everyone else.
The rules for the uninformed are: “You cannot wear a tank top twice in one week.” Your hair can only be pulled back in a ponytail for one week. On Fridays, we only wear track pants or jeans. Don’t even consider wearing a vest.
Boo, You Whore.
The Plastics may be a sacrificial bunch, but they do not always treat each other with respect. Regina’s gem comes in handy when Karen fakes a cold to avoid spending time with Regina. It’s brilliant for Karen because Regina just confirmed that she has been calling Karen a slut behind the back.
Other Funny Mean Girls Quotes
Get in loser. We’re going shopping.
Everyone in Africa can read Swedish.
So that’s against the rules, and you can’t sit with us.
Regina, you’re wearing sweatpants. It’s Monday.
Fine! You can walk home, bitches.
I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently, there are lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Damian: [guarding Cady down the hall] Watch out, please! Fresh meat coming through!
Damian: Watch out, please! Fresh meat coming through!
I can’t go to Taco Bell. I’m on an all-carb diet. God, Karen, you are so stupid!
If you’re from Africa, why are you white?
There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.
I hear she does car commercials…in Japan.
It so fetches.
Oh my god, Danny DeVito! I love your work!
I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn’t even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I’m the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn’t hear that.
The limit does not exist.
I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.—She doesn’t even go here!
Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!—Amber D’Alessio
You smell like a baby prostitute.
I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can’t help it that I’m popular.
Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls!
I know I may seem like a bitch, but that’s only because I’m acting like a bitch.
I can’t go out tonight. I’m sick. –Karen Smith
Four for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco!
How many of you have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George?
She doesn’t even go here!
I hate her! I mean, she’s really failing me on purpose, just because I didn’t join the stupid Mathletes! She was so queer, she was like, ‘I’m pusher Cady, I’m a pusher.’
That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I’ve ever seen.
Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up each other’s awesomeness?
She made out with a hot dog.
You know who’s looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski. Gretchen Weiners: You did not just say that. Karen Smith: Why? He’s a good kisser. Gretchen Weiners: He is your cousin! Karen Smith: Yeah, but he’s my first cousin. Gretchen Weiners: Right. Karen Smith: So you have your cousins, and you have your first cousins, and you have your second cousins… Gretchen Weiners: No, honey. Uh-uh. Karen Smith: That’s not right, is it? Gretchen Weiners: That is so not right. – Karen Smith
It’s not my fault you’re, like, in love with me or something! —Cady Heron
It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain.—Karen Smith
She’s the queen bee – the star, those other two are just her little workers. – Damian
She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like, Why didn’t you call me back? And I’d be like, ‘Why are you so obsessed with me?’
Grool. I meant to say great but then I started to say cool.—Cady Heron
Well… I’m kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense. – Karen
I don’t know, I mean, she’s so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack. – Cady
I saw Cady Heron wearing Army pants and flip-flops, so I bought Army pants and flip-flops.
Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
‘Cause, she’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.
Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?
It’s October 3rd.
Is butter a carb?
She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian.
Your face smells like peppermint!—Aaron Samuels
I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him. – Regina George
Your hair looks so sexy pushed back. Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back.
Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism.
Make sure you check out her mom’s boob job. They’re hard as rocks!
Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that’s not good.
If only you knew how mean she really is, you’d know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah, two years ago she told me hoops earrings were her thing, and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hanukkah, my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them. It was so sad.
Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin, ’cause I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!
That one there, that’s Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year.
Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.
Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen!
Oh Cady, here you go, one for you… And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye. _ Damian
Regina said she’ll talk to Aaron. And now she is. How can Janis hate her? She’s such a good… SLUT! _ Cady
Regina George is not sweet! She’s a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life! _ Janis
She’s totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels. – Damian
No, I know what home-school is, I’m not retarded! So you’ve actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up! – Regina’
This is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can? It’s urgent. Thank you!
I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see? – Karen
They’re teen royalty. If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would be always on the cover. – Damian
You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, Cool Asians, Varsity jocks Unfriendly black hotties, Girls who eat their feelings, Girls who don’t eat anything, Desperate wannabes, Burnouts, Sexually active band geeks, – Janis
Mr. Duvall: Miss Smith? Karen Smith: Whoever wrote it probably didn’t think anyone would ever see it? Mr. Duvall: I hope that nobody else ever does see it.
I just wanted to say that you’re all winners. And that I couldn’t be happier the school year is ending.
I know she’s kind of socially retarded and weird, but she’s my friend… so, just promise me you won’t make fun of her!
At your age, you’re going to have a lot of urges. You’re going to want to take off your clothes and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia… and die.
Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.—Regina George
Nice wig Janis, what’s it made out of?
God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don’t know why I did this. I guess it’s probably because I’ve got a big *lesbian* crush on you! Suck on *that*! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!
Regina George… How do I begin to explain Regina George? _ Janis
No! Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you’re a homeschooled jungle freak, that’s a less hot version of me! Yeah, so don’t try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy c… _ Regina
Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.
I don’t hate you cuz yo’ fat… yo’ fat cuz I hate you!
I can’t go to taco bell, I’m on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you’re so stupid! – Regina
I want my pink shirt back!—Damian Leigh
Damn Africa, what happened?
You wanna do something fun? Wanna go to Taco Bell?—Karen Smith
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant, and die. Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just… don’t do it. Promise?
Is butter a carb?—Regina George
Four for your Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco! – Damian
I don’t know why. It’s probably because I have a big, fat LESBIAN crush on you. Suck on that! Aye aye aye!
In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it. – Cady
In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up and beg for candy. But in girl world, Halloween is the one time of year a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it. – CADY HERON
But you’re, like, really pretty… So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?—Regina George
Oh my god Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white. – GRETCHEN WIENERS
There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.
Your mom’s chest hair! —Janis Ian
Get in loser, we’re going shopping.—Regina George
Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!—Gretchen Wieners
Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George.—Ms. Norbury
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