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- MatthewDusQues
Mark Twain, an adventurer and one of America’s most important writers, is the author of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and 28 other books, as well as a number of essays. Twain, who was born Samuel Langhorne Clemens in 1897, was also an inventor, journalist, entrepreneur, and riverboat pilot.
You are reading: Top 100 Best Mark Twain Quotes Of All Time [ecis2023]
If you need some inspiration for your next masterpiece, look no further than Mark Twain. This beloved American writer has influenced many genres of literature, from horror to religion and literary journalism.
Although he is still considered one of the greatest writers of his time, his early works are lesser-known in most places. Some of these books were never published during his lifetime or have faded into obscurity since their original printing.
Check out these unique, illuminating kindness Mark Twain quotes was collected by Penn Book for your own quote collection and inspiration in yours.
Table of Contents
- 1 Mark Twain Inspirational Quotes
- 1.1 Famous Mark Twain Quotes About Travel
- 1.2 Famous Quotes Mark Twain About Truth
- 1.3 Quotes Politics
- 1.4 Mark Twain Cat Quotes
- 1.5 Quotes On Education
- 1.6 Mark Twain Quotes About Life
- 1.7 Mark Twain Famous Quotes About Love
- 1.8 Mark Twain Funny Quotes
Mark Twain Inspirational Quotes
Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others — and less trouble.
With courage, you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?
There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life.
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
If books are not good company, where will I find it?
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one’s head.
The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’Tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.
Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.
The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
Do something every day that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven and hell, and I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn’t.
Architects cannot teach nature anything.
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.
Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.
What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
Books are the liberated spirits of men.
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
His head was an hourglass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.
We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries so that we can ‘show off and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can’t shake off.
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Famous Mark Twain Quotes About Travel
There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land (and work) again after a cheerful, careless voyage.
I have found out there ain’t the no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
It liberates the vandal to travel — you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction.
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.
Take the universe as a whole, and it is a very clever conception and quite competently carried out, but I don’t think much of this globe as a work of art. It would have been better to take more time to it and do it right, it seems to me, than to rush it through, helter-skelter, in six days, just for reputation.
Famous Quotes Mark Twain About Truth
All of us contain Music and Truth, but most of us can’t get it out.
No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, then success is sure.
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; the truth isn’t.
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
The best of all the lost arts is honesty.
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Quotes Politics
Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
“There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.
Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.
An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere.
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
Mark Twain Cat Quotes
When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.
I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn’t.
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat.
I saw a cat yesterday with 4 legs and yet it was only a yellow cat, and rather small, too, for its size.
The worship of royalty being found in unreason, these graceful and harmless cats would easily become as sacred as any other royalties, and indeed more so, because it would presently be noticed that they hanged nobody, beheaded nobody, imprisoned nobody, inflicted no cruelties or injustices of any sort, and so must be worthy of a deeper love and reverence than the customary human king, and would certainly get it.
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
Whenever he was out of luck and a little down-hearted, he would fall to mourning over the loss of a wonderful cat he used to.
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Every waking moment was precious to her; in it, she would find something useful to do, and if she ran out of material and couldn’t find anything else to do she would have kittens. She always kept us supplied, and her families were of choice quality. She herself was a three-colored tortoise-shell, but she had no prejudices of breed, creed, or caste. – Mark Twain, ‘Autobiography Of Mark Twain’.
There is nothing of continental or international interest to communicate about those cats.
If it was the table she would squat, and measure the distance, and make a leap, and land in the wrong place, owing to newness to the business; and, part of her going too far and sliding over the edge, she would scramble, and claw at things desperately, and save herself and make good.
None but the humane treat a cat well.
They are the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know, outside of the girl you love, of course.
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A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly-revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
Yes, he’s your friend, if you like, but you got to treat him like a gentleman, there ain’t any other terms.
I simply can’t resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain’t so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.
I like a thin book because it will steady a table, a leather volume because it will strop a razor, and a heavy book because it can be thrown at a cat.
Quotes On Education
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).
If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re misinformed.
′Classic′ – a book which people praise and don’t read.
Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.
Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
I was educated once – it took me years to get over it.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
In a good bookroom, you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others — and less trouble.
Mark Twain Quotes About Life
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one’s self-approval.
Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain Famous Quotes About Love
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
Don’t wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality.
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
If you want to love and abundance in your life, give it away.
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
You can’t reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.
The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Mark Twain Funny Quotes
Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
The funniest things are forbidden.
Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.
Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink — under any circumstances.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
′Classic′ – a book which people praise and don’t read.
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